…is what I would scream cry into Matt Damon’s face should I ever run into him at a Goodwill store. He would laugh. I would laugh. He’d say “Good one!” and I’d reply “I KNOW.” Then I’d gently pat him on the back, sigh, and get right back to shopping. A girl can dream.
It is also a great title for a post about shopping at Goodwill stores. I should know, I just came up with it. A few weeks ago was my very first time going to an official Goodwill store, if you can believe it. My aunt took me to the one up in Wappingers Falls when I visited her for the Gilligan’s Island tour of the Hudson and flea market debauchery.
I don’t know how the one by y’all is, but this one was SO organized! Every piece of clothing was separated by gender, type (short sleeved shirt, long sleeved shirt, collared shirt, sweater, puffy acid wash denim coats from the 80’s, etc.), then color. I found a lot of the usual Forever 21, Old Navy, and Target items that weren’t priced much differently from their initial retail. Listen up, thrift store man, you can’t try to sell me an Old Navy t-shirt for $4 when I can buy it new from the store for $5. It reminds me of the customers I sometimes encounter at my job who think they can resell their engagement ring for the same price they purchased it for. Sadly no, brokenhearted sir.
I must have tried on 20 shirts, dresses, and skirts but I couldn’t find anything that I absolutely had to have. I wandered over to the coats just for shits and giggles at first, on account of I wasn’t particularly looking for one, but I struck gold! First find was an army green Levi’s button down seen here on this lovely model:
The shirt is so versatile, it’s my favorite find since starting this blog! I wore it to work the next day, buttoned up with a cream colored J. Crew linen skirt. Then I wore it a few weeks later to
Jurassic Park Zion National Park in Utah for some epic (read: intermediate) hiking.
Next up I found a gorgeous Laundry by Shelli Segal wool coat with a real fur collar! Preachy Note: I do not buy real fur normally because I don’t think it is necessary or in the least bit humanely made. In my opinion, if you can sit through a video (click it if you like crying) of what actually happens to animals when they are skinned for their fur and still feel peachy wearing it? Power to you… Satan. That being said, this coat was already made and purchased by someone else so I didn’t feel as bad buying it for next to nothing secondhand. Similarly (work with me here) I adopted my cat, Bob, from a shelter. He had his front paws declawed by his previous owner. I would never have done this to a cat of mine! But what kind of moral protest am I making by then not adopting him? It’s not dumb old Bob’s fault, and it sure isn’t this cute little coat’s fault!
You’ll see the full coat below, but I wanted to show you how a small change can make cheap or free items well worth it. Have you ever tried something on in the store or from someone else’s closet or from the trunk of a friend of a friend’s car that “Would be great if…”? Maybe the sleeves are too long, or the color is slightly off, or the buttons look like those shitty wood salad bowls everyone had in the 70’s and 80’s. You know. Paying to alter an item that is already full price is such a turn off but paying to alter a cheap or free item is a minor price for a great deal!
So I did what any normal person would do, I went to the only button store I’ve ever seen in my entire life that is thankfully one town over. This button store in Rockville Centre is so unique and specialized that the New York Times wrote an article about them! A tiny old Asian woman helped me pick out some fabulous gray mother of pearl buttons – and by helped me I mean judged my initial button choices and then ended up picking out something much prettier than I had in mind. “Why you keep looking at that color? That’s a bad color. Pick this color, OK?”. Buttons are REALLY EASY to change out, I promise you. Any sewing novice can do it! Button is also a really fun word to say, I say it all the time. Try calling someone a button some time, it will change your life (satisfaction not guaranteed but highly likely).
Here’s the zinger. That button down Levi’s shirt was $5 and the coat was $15. Bargain central! The buttons? Well that little button saleswoman sure was great at her job – I mean, you’ve got to be to stay in business as long as she has selling only fucking buttons – because they were $7 a piece and I needed 7 of them. BUT THEY WERE SO PRETTY! So in total the coat cost me about $65, fairly expensive but much less than it was at retail and tailored to my exact button needs. Let me tell you, I have very specific button needs.
Button. Sorry, just had to say it one last time.
Baby cuz I’m a thug,